You could say that my only child—my daughter, Claire—is a high performing, high achieving kid.
As much as I hate to admit it, I would come home after working long hours at the hospital and would ask her, "Honey, did you finish your homework? Did you practice piano? Did you...? Did you...? Did you...?"
I was the "Honey Did You" mom!
Then one day my husband and my daughter called me out.
My husband asked, "Julie, when have we ever answered 'no' when you asked these questions?"
Claire added, "Mom, is that what you really care about?"
Yes, I do care. But I also realized that I was just focusing on the operational logistics of our household. By focusing on these logistics, I was sucking love, life and gratitude out of daily living. I wasn't connecting with my husband and daughter on a deep emotional level.
Now I ask these questions when I get home from work:
- What was the best part of your day? What was the most challenging? How did you handle it and what were your thoughts in the moment?
- What made you laugh today?
- What can we do as a family tonight for a few minutes to create connection?
What questions do you ask your kids when you get home from work?
Listen to more stories by Dr. Julie Wei on the Janus Henderson Radio Podcast called, 3 Ways to Address the Rising Stress in Our Youth. Listen on Spotify.
"I’ve been listening! I loved Dr. Wei's interview with Dr. J. She was so eloquent and compelling with her personal story. I have already started to make a deliberate effort to not talk about the traffic or any 'noise' when I get home so I live in the moment, give the best me to my family and not spread the stress in my household." —Alexandria
"I listened to the whole thing. I love her emotion when she talks about her daughter." —Catharine
"Dr. Wei was brilliant! Such an important topic. Thank you for sharing." —Loree